


gone

by milkkbread



Series: leaving [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkkbread/pseuds/milkkbread
Summary: Mammon kills himself, and how the brothers respond.
Series: leaving [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844434
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	gone

**Author's Note:**

> part 2 of falling

Levi didn’t know what to do. What was he supposed to do? His brother was dead. Mammon was gone. 

_Why did this happen? What led Mammon to- ?_

Levi wouldn’t, _no_ , _**couldn’t**_ accept this. He couldn’t even say the words. Thinking about this only filled him with dread and disbelief.

_Mammon wasn’t gone. He was here. He had to be here. Anytime now, and Mammon would come in bursting into his room and ask him for something right?_

Levi put down his game controller and sighed dejectedly as he stared at the ceiling. 

_Mammon isn’t gone. He’s just having fun somewhere outside. He’ll come back later and he’ll be here. There’s no way he’s dead._

He refused to accept that Mammon was gone.

_But what if he’s not dead? What if he’s just missing and they misidentified someone else as him? He has to be alive, right? Mammon wouldn’t kill himself. He seemed fine when I last saw him. He’s not dead. He might not be here right now, but he’s not dead._

These thoughts overwhelmed him, suffocated him, made him feel like he couldn’t, wasn’t allowed to breathe. His vision blurred, words and light and everything coming together into one unfocused haze. Fear and wanting to know the truth and reason to what happened engulfed and buried inside of him. 

He felt so unbearably empty and useless as he laid there, unable to move as these emotions flooded and washed over him.

He didn’t know what to do other than to feel useless, a mix of of intense emotions drowning him as he ruminated over the thought that he could’ve possibly done something-although he didn’t know what-to stop what happened. He cried until his tears overflowed and choked him, not knowing how or what he was supposed to do, until he couldn’t think anymore, until he didn’t know what he was feeling anymore.

_Maybe I’ll just play some games and then watch something, and by then Mammon will be back and everything will be okay._

Levi refused to think about it. He couldn’t, without feeling nauseous, like he was going to throw up these intense emotions that did nothing but leave him feeling even worse than before. There was no possible way that Mammon was dead. Mammon was alive. He was unable to accept any other possibility that meant his brother wasn’t alive.

Levi had no other options to choose from anymore because he couldn’t, didn’t know what to do, other than to unpause and go back to the game he was playing, where he didn’t have to focus on his current reality.

**Author's Note:**

> part 2 of falling  
> -probably updating in august bc finals & school starting


End file.
